Empty Nesters

AMUSEMENTS AT WORK BY "SWEET BABY"
I often complain that my job can be pretty mundane in the short stay unit for endoscopy. However we sometimes get some amusing/crazy patients who make it more interesting. Today was such a day. We had one woman in her 80's who complained from the minute she walked in. The light was too bright, every spot on her body hurt if you touched it and she didn't want to be there. Big news people-we don't get a commission on how many people come in. We were definitely the ENEMY today though. Wouldn't you know it, we had to try about 10 times to get an IV in her. I think that's a new record. We had to put a towel over her eyes (to hide the blinding light of Humboldt County) and one nurse tried 6 times and I finally got it on my 4th try. She tried every last nerve of mine and I was only in there for about 15 minutes-much less than the other two nurses. Then she reacted adversely to the Versed they gave her in the procedure room and she couldn't even have the procedure. My favorite patient today was a 52 year old rather hefty woman with a past that included "snorting" and other riotous practices since the age of 14. She kept calling me "sweet baby" and blessing me constantly. She has apparently found Jesus in the last few years and is reformed. One of her tatooes is a heart with the name Jesus in it. She told me how her grandson tried to commit suicide a few months ago and told me of every ailment she's ever had. She talked continually when I was in the room. Nonstop. The best was in recovery when she started a nonstop conversation with the woman next to her (poor lady). She also stopped one of the doctors who walked in and told him all about her ailments. Not too unusual except it wasn't her doctor. When I discharged her she walked over to her wheelchair (she's not as bedridden as she says). Before she got to it she stopped and held hands with her neighbor and started praying over her quite loudly. She then wrapped her arms around me and gave me a huge hug because I was such a "sweet baby". You gotta love people like her!!